A Young Woman's Courage
A little over a month ago a young woman informed us that she really needed to talk with me. My breath stopped, and my heart seemed to hold still. I felt positive I knew what she wanted.
My mind flashed back to the day when my niece Lauren informed me that her friend found out she was pregnant. A familiar feeling had washed over me. I felt a deep sadness for this yet unborn life and a longing to hold it close, to protect it, to raise it myself. Somehow this was different though. A chill rippled through my spine. This child was supposed to be mine. A panic quickly set in. Who was I to think such thoughts? And yet, a deep desire within me seem to awaken, a desire to be this child's mother. I began to pray for this young woman, for the child within her womb, and I waited. I never spoke of this to anyone but God; He alone was in control. He alone could handle my mixed emotions.
My heart raced a bit faster then normal as my niece and her friend joined me at our home for a lunch date while. I placed sandwiches before each of the girls, neither of them seeming eager to get down to the reason for their visit quite yet. Then I asked. The young woman very calmly explained that she would like to know if we would adopt her child once it was born.
I took a deep breath as I felt all of the color drain out of my face. As ridiculous as it sounds, I wasn't prepared for the wash of emotion I felt in the next few moments. I felt so unworthy. Who was I to be picked to raise a child growing in someone else's womb? Humility seems like far too small a word to describe my reaction. So many thoughts rushed through my mind. How could I agree to a possible heart ache after all we have endured? What does it take for a young woman, any woman to know they are not ready to parent but want their child to have life anyway? How much courage does it take to face this rarely followed path? How could we help her? How could we serve her? How can we love her?
We continued through a necessary dialogue, both of speaking with reservation but at the same time being painfully honest with each other. At the end of our lunch she pulled out the sonogram pictures of this beautiful baby, probably a girl. I held each picture and cried tears of joy mixed with awe as I gazed at a perfect little child. This child who will change so many lives forever and is such an amazing gift is due to arrive in December.
Greg and I have agreed to adopt this child, and we are humbled by and terrified of the journey ahead. We have no idea if this young woman will change her mind or if one of the million other possible things that could prevent us from adopting this child will foil our plans, but we know the One who does know, and we rest in His will. Until then, we will seek to serve this young woman, to love her, and to learn all that God has for us in this journey.